Last week, I had the mean reds, so Puddinn’ and I went and bought red lipsticks. It worked.

Also: best red lipstick I’ve discovered.

Chanel Rouge Coco 36 Lune Russe, $32 at Nordstrom in Scottsdale — where you should see Suzanne, because she will also tell you about the best place to go dancing in Phoenix. And you get to bring home a Chanel box, however tiny, which shouldn’t make me as pleased as it does.

I also caved to all the breathless reviews and picked up Chanel Inimitable Intense Mascara — oh, my. I’ve had three girlfriends ask me what I’ve just had done. (MASCARA, people!) This stuff will put you in false eyelashes territory. $30.

Then, we stopped into Ann Taylor, where there’s a colorblocking moment that I’m really into. This topis on my wishlist now — I need it to match my lipstick. $78.

P.S. I’m going all mean reds about Liz Earls, a mom who seized power and spent a year, um, dating younger men, photographing their after hours activites — and then made an R-rated coffee table book out of her adventures. The big, buzzy book is called “Days of the Cougar.”  I’m all for seizing power and seeking adventure, but that title makes me crazy. This woman isn’t yet 40. I am 34.

Dear Liz Earls: are you calling me a CUB?

I object to the whole cougar lexicon and am henceforth refusing to say that word in reference to a woman ever again. It’s insulting, and a 40-year-old single man who looks good while looking for love isn’t called anything but a catch.

Join me on my crusade?